


Nightmare Fuel

by MelfinaLupin



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Platonic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 05:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7604944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelfinaLupin/pseuds/MelfinaLupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shiro didn’t know how it happened, but Pidge’s room had become a sanctuary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmare Fuel

Nightmare Fuel

Shiro hated nighttime aboard the castleship. With everyone in bed, the ancient ship turned into a mausoleum. As if sensing the inactivity of its occupants, the ship’s neon blue lights gradually powered down and the electric hum of the engines became as gentle as a lullaby.

The heavy silence was uncomfortable. It made him feel like he was trespassing. He could have turned back, but the last place he wanted to go was his room.

His mind was a mess. His body was exhausted. Every fiber inside him screamed for rest, but he soldiered through the pain. He’d count himself lucky if he got a nap in before the nightmares came.

In the silent ship there was no enemy to focus on and no friend to distract him. He was at the mercy of his thoughts, and his thoughts weren’t kind. So he’d rather roamed the deserted halls alone than wake up trembling and crying, with the unavoidable urge to retch. Shiro hated waking up terrified, believing he was still a prisoner, before he had a chance to remember where he was. One too many nights of endless nightmares would make anyone avoid sleeping.

At the time Shiro was thankful that the memory of his previous fight in the arena surfaced in time. They had been able to defeat the robeast, but when the adrenaline faded, the memory only haunted him. After that the flashbacks became more frequent. It was like a valve had opened and he couldn’t turn it off. The torture wrought by Sendak only made things worse. Before he felt disconnected from those memories as if he was watching a movie, now he saw and felt them explicitly.

He didn’t want to alarm anyone so he put on a brave face. He was Takahashi Shirogane. He had reached the edge of the solar system at the age of twenty. He had survived a year in Galra imprisonment and lived to tell about it. And now he was the Black Paladin, entrusted with the duty to save the universe Galra control. He can’t afford to be weak or broken, not with so many people relying on him.

Shiro broke out into a cold sweat. Feeling lightheaded, he had to stop and took a deep breath to settle his queasy stomach. He clenched his teeth until his jaw hurt. He still remembered how the purple electricity rushed through his body, burning its way through bones, muscles, and internal organs. He wanted to keep strong for Pidge, he knew she was listening through the intercom, but he couldn’t stop the scream from billowing up from his guts.

_I should have been stronger for Pidge’s sake._

She was the youngest and smallest out of everyone even if she was too proud to admit it herself. Shiro felt it was his duty to protect her. Not just because he was the leader of the paladins, but because he felt guilty for failing to protect her family.

Shiro should have been heading to the training room if he wanted a distraction but he took a different path. Night after night his feet dragged him to the same spot, and night after night the door was unlocked. Sometimes she was there, sleeping in her bed or awake with her computer in her lap and her toothy grin ready to greet him. Sometimes she was gone, down in the bowels of the ship dismantling some new alien tech or tending to her lion.

Shiro didn’t know how it happened, but Pidge’s room had become a sanctuary. There wasn’t special about the tiny apartment visibly. There were no windows. No comforting evidence that a woman occupied the space. To be honest it was a little cramped and messy from all the parts of machinery and computers Pidge left lying about. Still Shiro felt like it was the safest place inside the ship.

Tonight Pidge was inside, fast asleep in her bed. In the green glow of her humming computer, he could see her curled up in a tiny ball under the blankets. At first he felt guilty for intruding on her space. She was his junior. She was young and green, not yet scarred or battle worn like he was, but Pidge didn’t care about any of that. She didn’t count his scars, and only ask about his past if it concerned her family. She didn’t look at him with pity or sadness. She just kept her door unlocked if he needed a safe place to hide from the nightmares.

Pidge was tougher and stronger than he gave her credit for.

Out of habit, Shiro grabbed the folded blanket from the edge of her bed and spread it over the only clear spot on the floor. The blanket was fluffy and pink, but it was comfortable. When Pidge realized he had been sleeping on the hard floor, she spent an entire day searching for an Altean linen closet before seeking Coran’s help.

He laid down, his thoughts calmed by the soothing sounds of Pidge’s even snores and the quiet hum of her laptop. These sounds were ordinary. These sounds were safe. They comforted him. He could pretend he was just a normal kid again and not a broken survivor.

Eventually his eyes drifted shut. He could imagine himself home in bed if he wanted to. His mom and dad were just down the hall. If a nightmare made him call out, they would come running to comfort him.

Tears burned his eyes. His throat tightened. He didn’t know what was worse. These fabricated thoughts that made his heart hurt or the fuzzy memories of the past year that made him sick to his stomach.

“Shiro?” Pidge’s voice was thick with sleep.

 “Yeah?” He grimaced. He couldn’t sound normal no matter how he tried.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Go back to sleep. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s fine.” She went quiet after that, and Shiro sighed, relieved that she had fallen back asleep. He didn’t want her to see what a mess he was now. He heard her shift in her sleep as if turning over in her bed. Then he felt her fingertips brush his metal arm as her small hand reached out blindly. He tensed.

“What is it?”

“Gimme your hand.”

Shiro did as he was told. When she took on that tone of voice, it was better not to argue. Her fingers clamped around his hand with no intention of letting go. It was funny how his hand dwarfed hers, but she was the one with all the power.

Her touch made him remember how his mom would hold his hand when he was a boy. The tears came again, fat ones that welled up in his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. 

“Are you ok?”

He didn’t lie this time.

 

 


End file.
